Climbing Up

While things aren't rosy, I just blew 4 months of my life doing nothing, it ain't bad either. I got myself a social circle, I'm not alone anymore. I made lots of new friends and some I grew to become very close to them. I also reconnected with some of my old friends, rediscovering who the hell I am. I'm still single and still procrastinating. However, I rediscovered my passion for reading and have been reading lots of books. As soon as this year ends, I'm going to focus on passing my entrance exam this February, with that hurdle cleared I can start working on my research again. Sure by then I would have blown thru 5 months not amounting to much but sometimes in life you need that. I still have 2 years to sort out my graduate studies and research. I can't claim that I feel better than I've ever felt in my life, but this past week has been the best since I moved here. Nothing is perfect, but I have moved a few stones above rock bottom.

Rock Bottom

My life, so far, peaked earlier this year when I used to live in Sendai and then hell broke on 3/11, I had to leave Japan and then a month later my only option was to move to Osaka and it has been downhill ever since. A month ago I moved to Tsukuba, as I was recently accepted as a research student into University of Tsukuba one of the top universities in Japan and my life hit rock bottom. Broke up with my girlfriend of a year and a half, a girl who I cared deeply about, no social connections and no friends in a new city and a boring city at that. A pathetically small town attached to a university and a dozen or so research institutes a far cry from Sendai or Osaka. It almost feels deserted, everything is inconveniently far, there is no subways or trains running within the city. I could go on complaining more about my personal life but my academic life is even at a worse state. With no carrot and stick I don't feel motivated to do anything, I'm not even sure about my research topic to even start doing research which is what I'm supposed to do as a research student before becoming a Master's student next March. These 6 months are supposed to give me a head start but I lack the will and the vision to move forward. I want to do research in Parallel computing but even that is still a too wide of a topic and while I'm supposed to do some reading and research to help me on that, I've got the books and everything else to start I just seem to procrastinate that ended up leading me to depression and demotivation. I wish if I can get my life back on track, I wish the earthquake never happened, I wish I was still in Sendai with my friends, my ex-girlfriend and with the clear vision I had then...

As the sun sets it also rises, now that I hit rock bottom the only way to go is up, build a new social network and get my academic life into shape.

Fuck Singapore

Who else but fuckin' assholes would outlaw chewing gum?