You've Changed My Life

Life was falling, my vision was crumbling

All my hopes withered and the winds were rumbling

Nothing left for me but to move stones that were crumbling

And dress as a fool

So unusual, my dreams flash in a pan

Vigor has been lost in the wind, hope became just a word

My best friend and worst enemy hitchhiking with Henry Ford

The stars were too up high, they had to be abandoned

After I loved and lost

After I moved to this eerie quiet town

But you changed my life
In my time of strife, you gave me a new mind

I sat alone for months crying

The doors were open, the exits were many

Which one should I take I didn't know

Love was something that only brought tears

No foundation was worth what was set upon it

Given up the chase, given up finding her too

None of them seemed worth the effort to me

All what was left was petty sex

Whenever I got it and it made me lonely

But you changed my life
In my time of strife, under overcast skies

No ghosts haunted me but my own

In my own head and of a past lover

Left me in tears, broken, self-loathing and afraid

Who would accept me wasn't yet born I said

Cried remembering how desperate everything was

How hard it was to put up a smile and choose to be happy

But I chose it out of lack of any other choice

Nothing in life is for free

But you changed my life
In my time of need, you made heart bleed

Then you came, into my life

Outta nowhere

Your smile curing all that ails

As if I never cried as if I never knew despair

I got drunk into your love

Knowing it will grow as we grow

Can't stop myself from wanting more

More Time with you

 Is all I'll ever want

Since you changed my life
From silver and gold into what no man can hold

But I'm still broken

Moving on and growing doesn't hide the scars

Broken promises

Finding easy to love but hard to trust

I feel threatened so I shut myself

And hurt those who are around

Yet you are still there, in my heart

With my favorite picture of you

With your smile so sweet and tender

It is almost as if I was just born yesterday

No scars and no broken heart

As if I were a new-born, born just for you

Just you…

You changed my life
In my time of strife, you gave me a new mind

The Fool Within

When you can't move forward and there is nothing left to go back to.
When you'd rather be anywhere but home and you ain't got a home in this world no more.
When a minute of sunshine is superseded by days of thunderstorm.
And when your thoughts are fleeing and your ideas are broken.
And when things fall apart before the foundation is laid down.
And your wings are torn off and thrown for the beasts to eat.
And those beasts are nothing but your inner thoughts and demons.

When you have been deceived by the fool within.
You thought he was righteous but he was vain.
When your worst enemy and best friend is one and the same.
When your head tells you it is time to make a change but your heart tells you I will stay behind a while.
And when what isn't right isn't wrong and beer won't get to quench off your thirst.
And there is no drug in the land that can make things better.
And when everything you've known to be true has been proven wrong.

When you have a dream that you can't explain.
And every word you utter, every letter your write fails to express how you feel.
When your thoughts can't be put into words, your words can't be put into sentences and your thoughts are left meaningless to you as well.
When you meet your accuser face to face in the rain.
And all you see is you.

If only I had the ability to express how I truly feel.
Instead of having everything I say or write misinterpreted.
Maybe finally they will know me for who I am.
Maybe finally they can see why I'm always far off and out of sight.
Why should I talk when every word I say is held against me?
Why should I try to express how I feel when it will only be misinterpreted.
Why should be open and sincere when everyone else is fake?

I Have No Government

No really I don't. My government is shutdown :\

The Alternative Theory Of Creation

In the beginning God created men in his own image and likeness, and they were all gay, for God was a gay man who wore muscle shirts, nut hugger shorts and spoke with a mighty lisp. The men were happy and they were gay, The Lord looked down on his men being all gay and jolly and thought all was good. God created men and they were manly and gay, happy, peaceful, no wars, no pain, no suffering and no fear. And above all no women for women weren't invented, with their soul sucking nagging and preaching and their emotions and their periods and their menopauses and their illogicalness and how they torture and toy with men's feelings and emotions.


God created men, god did not create gods. Men were created in God's own image and likeness but they weren't immortal nor omnipotent. Men were susceptible to the elements. They age and grow weak and tired, they get sick or injured and die off. They are susceptible to death by falling. The Great shopping kart down Mt. Everest incident took many lives as many many men attempted it. God looked down with dismay knowing that he must act soon, as sweet and as manly as things were. Men were not reproducing.


The Lord needed a replacement mechanism and so he created women and their role was just for procreation, to create more men, women were created, nothing more and nothing less. Women were created from the carcasses of dead men, the Great shopping kart down Mt. Everest incident provided many suitable bodies to be made into women. Some women though, suffering from penis-envy, started hating men and becoming lesbians in direct violation of the role God bestowed on them, i.e. producing men such that gay men can be continue to prosper. This angered God very much, and God punished women by making them weak and feeble.


Men soon forgot why god created them, i.e. to be gay, and started pursuing women instead, leading to jealousy, envy, hatred, war, disease and destruction. This angered The Lord very much women soon began producing more women in addition to men, and ever since men knew nothing but pain and suffering and yet instead of fighting the true enemy and fulfilling god's will for them, that's to be gay, through religion women brainwashed men to be their servants under the guise of being married.


Through religion, women and many feeble minded men, made the natural order of men being gay unnatural, and the unnatural, i.e. the gross mixing of the sexes beyond the purpose of producing more men, as natural. Women controlled all levels of society through feeble men. Men were the facade, and men were made to believe they were in control, when in fact women were controlling men like sock puppets. Executing their never-ending revenge on men due to penis-envy.

Realizing That Happiness is a Choice

"Ye shall be as gods"

"You will be what you will to be;
Let failure find its false content
In that poor word "environment,"
But spirit scorns it, and is free"

The true lesson is, there are no gods, but we ourselves have the potential to be as gods. It is all in our mind, if we will it, it'll happen, we just need to know we can.

Realizing that, realizing that I'm the only one who can make me happy, made me happy. Been constantly happy since last summer. I experienced tough times, I had my moments sitting in a corner or rolled between my blankets, and just crying. It was everything all at once, fear, loss, anxiety, suffering and pride. I didn't know where I wanted to be nor how I'm gonna get there. Mind I still don't but realized that I shouldn't care. Be happy -because it is a choice- and let the positive circumstances you create by being happy lead you to where you ought to be.

First step, kill your ego. I had to kill my old self. I took him to a back ally and shot him in the face, from there on I had a clean slate to work with. I may have to rinse, lather and repeat, but this new me is far more tolerant and accepting of things my old self would be repulsed by.

Second step, come to terms with your past and who you are. My family and my upbringing clashed with who I was and who I wanted to be. I was almost ashamed of who I was and where I grew up. After spending a month with them last summer, I came to terms with who I am, who they are, and while we may never agree or share world views, I know that they will always be my family and I accept that.

Third step, travel and meet new people. If you can't travel, then make new friends in your hometown and check new venues near and around where you live.

Fourth step, diet. I don't mean trying to lose weight or anything but you are what you eat. Try consuming less suffering and less pain. You don't have to go vegan or vegetarian but it is a known fact that plant-based diets can and will make you happier. Junk food, too much sugar and processed meats are your worst enemy.

Zeroth step, be who you are. Free yourself from dogma and rules that try to force you into being someone you are not. Don't waste your life trying to please other people or living someone else's life.

This Is Just Stupid!

I wish I could come up with something more clever to say but this is stupid. People can be so reactionary at times! Abandoning nuclear energy is suicide! Nuclear energy is clean, safe and cheap, what happened in Fukushima Daiichi was due to bad safety precautions and not inherent to nuclear energy.


Japan's greenhouse gas emissions projected to rise 15%

Nuclear-free Japan braces for summer power shortages

Spreading Santorum

The frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex. http://spreadingsantorum.com/

Jenny Hyun is Evil

Jenny Hyun, songwriter for SNSD & Chocolat, is a racist psychopath

Anyone Can Write A Blog Entry

You see what I just did here?

Of course you do.

You can and anyone can, I can even when intoxicated like right now.

I want to write a book but if I can't get myself to even write a blog entry how am I to write a book or become a comedian.

But you are not funny!

Shut up! I am funny, I just have approach anxiety and stage fright.

I need to goddamn study!

Later...

Criminal Politicians (Japan Edition)

The consumption tax will be raised to 8% 4/2014 and then to 10% by 10/2015. I guess Japan wants to ensure that I leave. It's not like things aren't pretty pricey as-is right now!! Those politicians seem to forget that the consumption tax hurts the lower and middle class. What they should be striving for is an asshole tax on all the assholes running the government in Shinjuku, starting with dumbass Ishihara Shintaro. How much does the Imperial family blow on blow every year? You got yourself some mighty savings right there.


Increasing the consumption tax is criminal as it will hurt the lower income classes and will increase the price of essential goods. What they should do instead is subsidize essential goods and increase the corporate income tax and the luxury tax on certain products like the Toyota Century (about ¥11,500,000) which I saw everywhere when I used to live in Osaka.

Increasing the consumption tax will cause people to consume less and less, not what any sane person desires. Less consumption means less sales and a worse economy overall. A higher consumption tax will lower the purchasing power of the yen and will put a squeeze on people who are already living paycheck to paycheck.

Climbing Up

While things aren't rosy, I just blew 4 months of my life doing nothing, it ain't bad either. I got myself a social circle, I'm not alone anymore. I made lots of new friends and some I grew to become very close to them. I also reconnected with some of my old friends, rediscovering who the hell I am. I'm still single and still procrastinating. However, I rediscovered my passion for reading and have been reading lots of books. As soon as this year ends, I'm going to focus on passing my entrance exam this February, with that hurdle cleared I can start working on my research again. Sure by then I would have blown thru 5 months not amounting to much but sometimes in life you need that. I still have 2 years to sort out my graduate studies and research. I can't claim that I feel better than I've ever felt in my life, but this past week has been the best since I moved here. Nothing is perfect, but I have moved a few stones above rock bottom.

Rock Bottom

My life, so far, peaked earlier this year when I used to live in Sendai and then hell broke on 3/11, I had to leave Japan and then a month later my only option was to move to Osaka and it has been downhill ever since. A month ago I moved to Tsukuba, as I was recently accepted as a research student into University of Tsukuba one of the top universities in Japan and my life hit rock bottom. Broke up with my girlfriend of a year and a half, a girl who I cared deeply about, no social connections and no friends in a new city and a boring city at that. A pathetically small town attached to a university and a dozen or so research institutes a far cry from Sendai or Osaka. It almost feels deserted, everything is inconveniently far, there is no subways or trains running within the city. I could go on complaining more about my personal life but my academic life is even at a worse state. With no carrot and stick I don't feel motivated to do anything, I'm not even sure about my research topic to even start doing research which is what I'm supposed to do as a research student before becoming a Master's student next March. These 6 months are supposed to give me a head start but I lack the will and the vision to move forward. I want to do research in Parallel computing but even that is still a too wide of a topic and while I'm supposed to do some reading and research to help me on that, I've got the books and everything else to start I just seem to procrastinate that ended up leading me to depression and demotivation. I wish if I can get my life back on track, I wish the earthquake never happened, I wish I was still in Sendai with my friends, my ex-girlfriend and with the clear vision I had then...

As the sun sets it also rises, now that I hit rock bottom the only way to go is up, build a new social network and get my academic life into shape.

Fuck Singapore

Who else but fuckin' assholes would outlaw chewing gum?

Darth Cheney has no pulse!

After a pump transplant, Cheney now has no pulse.

Darth Cheney had a pulse?!

"Anime is a prime example of why two nukes just wasn't enough." says the politician

He apologizes:

Thank God for California

Quote:

It’s official. Tax Cannabis 2010, the most far-reaching state effort ever, which would legalize the consumption of cannabis for all adults over 21 — and would finally take the industry that serves those consumers out of a legal gray area — will qualify for the November mid-term ballot later today. The Tax Cannabis campaign gathered just under 700,000 signatures, well over the 434,000 needed to qualify for the California ballot.

Quote:

A poll in April showed 56 percent support for legalization. And Tax Cannabis’ internal polling in March found 44 percent support among likely California voters in non-presidential elections. This was followed by an August internal poll that found 52 percent support by likely November 2010 voters.

Quote:

And as 13 states have followed California in legalizing medical marijuana, other states could similarly follow it if legalizes cannabis this year. In other words, as goes California, so could go many others .

More at source:
Marijuana Legalization Officially Qualifies for California Ballot « SpeakEasy


I guess I'll be moving to California soon

Time to Nuke Texas?

Yes.

How a group of Texas conservatives is rewriting your kids’ textbooks.

Once we're done nuking them, and accidentally nuking some other Southern States, they can be allowed to secede.

Those damn backward Southerners are destroying this nation and dragging the IQ average so low 

Hooray for Mexican gangs

The EU That Can Say No to Japan

 Japan Today:

The secretariat says bluefin tuna stock has declined more than 80 percent since data began to be taken 40 years ago.

The European Union also proposed the ban last year. But the proposal was rejected in September due to initial opposition from France and Italy.

The ban would only affect trade in bluefin tuna from the East Atlantic and Mediterranean. Its quota, set by the International Convention for the Conservation of Atlantic Tunas, is 13,500 tons for this year, down from 20,000 tons for 2009. 

Japan asks EU to rethink proposed bluefin tuna trade ban

Go Australia!

Australia sets Nov deadline for Japan to end whaling in Antarctic waters › Japan Today: Japan News and Discussion

Quote:

Japan hunts annually in what Australia calls the Southern Ocean, where it kills around 1,000 whales for scientific research purposes. The Japanese side claims it is doing so to better understand the life cycles of whales, their effect on the ecosystem and their population structure.

This is so full of shit! 1000 for scientific research? maybe researching them into food

I love Japan as much as the next guy, but this whaling shit gotta end

Quote:

Masayuki Komatsu, a former Japanese delegate to the International Whaling Commission who once described minke whales as ‘‘cockroaches of sea,’’ told the Australian Broadcasting Corp that he is ‘‘really confident that Japan will win over this litigation.’‘ Don Rothwell, a professor who teaches international law and maritime law at Australian National University, disagrees. He has advised the government that Australia has a strong legal argument against Japanese whaling.

I'm no political scientist, but it is Australian waters, am I right?

I'm glad Australia is taking action